Posts filed under 'Strange Medicine'

Picking your Nose While Driving will be Illegal

Canada’s Transportation Minister was quoted as saying; “Sure, talking on a cell phone while driving is dangerous but there are many other activities occurring that are just as dangerous if not more-so.” “For example the other day I was almost side-swiped by a man that was completely distracted while picking his nose, and I don’t mean just a nose scratch – he was in up to his knuckle”.

Toronto, Canada – December 5, 2011

For those of you not following the news over in the Great White North I will fill you in a little bit. Last year the ‘distracted driving’ law came into effect, where-as you are not able to talk on a cell phone while driving without the risk of incurring a fine of up to $500. It seems one Canadian politician wants to take it one step further!

Jim Bradlley (Ontario’s transportation minister) made this statement last Thursday after telling reporters he was proud of the new legislation he helped draft.  As they walked away he mentioned his plans to make this law much more encompassing in the near future. He was quoted as saying; “Sure, talking on a cell phone while driving is dangerous but there are many other activities occurring during driving that are just as dangerous if not more-so.” “For example the other day I was almost side-swiped by a man that was completely distracted while picking his nose, and I don’t mean just a nose scratch – he was in up to his knuckle”.

He continued, “There has been testing done that has shown that picking your nose while driving is even more dangerous than using a cell phone because of the high occurrences of physical injury while conducting this type of behavior.” ” I would like to see all types of distractions lead to a hefty fine, my advice for this particular offense would be an $850 fine.”

At least one politician finds those comments worrying. “Everyone should realize there is no place this government will not go intruding into private lives,” Conservative MPP Randy Hillier said. He went on to say, “what is next? No eating broccoli with dinner due to the possibility of passing of gas into the atmosphere thereby increasing global warming?”

Experts have questioned the effectiveness of distracted driving laws. In other jurisdictions they have not always changed drivers’ habits. After an initial reduction in New York, for example, cellphone use was reportedly back to pre-ban rates within one year.

The insurance industry says the new law is a good first step in making distracted driving socially unacceptable. In fact Bill Crespen of Walden’s Insurance says, “personally we would like to see all distractions result in large fines, whether it is picking your nose, applying make-up or talking on a cell phone – they can all potentially kill you”.

December 5th, 2011

Take a whiz with that prosthetic penis

Here is a new twist on an old appendage!  wo men whose company sold a device known as the Whizzinator that helped men cheat on drug tests have pleaded guilty in federal court in Pittsburgh.

George Wills and Robert Catalano each pleaded guilty Monday to two conspiracy counts.

They owned the California-based Internet company Puck Technology.

The Whizzinator is a prosthetic penis that comes with a heating element and fake urine.

U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan’s office says the goal of it and another device called Number 1 was to help people pass drug tests.  The devices were sold from 2005 to 2008.

The California men are scheduled to be sentenced in February and face up to eight years in prison, a half-million-dollar fine or both.  I would rename this product as the pee-pee machine.

November 25th, 2008

Hard to find a doctor in Perth

Daphne is 78 years old, a widow, a grandmother, doesn’t have a car, doesn’t have a doctor after hers of 20 years suddenly closed his practice three weeks ago for personal reasons, and Daphne decided, why not?

She took out the following personal ad Jan. 5 in the Perth Courier newspaper to attempt to resolve this situation:

78-year-old lady looking for a medical doctor in Perth. Blood pressure and RLS under control. Last major illness in 1958, an appendectomy. Not planning any major illness for the next 10 years. I make muffins to share!! Help! Phone 613-267-4408 and leave a message.

There are 14 doctors listed in Perth, population 6,000. None has answered her ad offering to take her on as a patient. Not even with her offer of muffins.

“I bake muffins,” she says. “Blueberry and apricot. I took some into a doctor’s office because someone told me he had taken on a new patient. I got up at 5:30 a.m. to start making my muffins. I didn’t get to see him. His secretary said he wasn’t taking any more patients. It was the same with two other doctors’ offices I phoned. I knew one of them quite well, and the other by reputation.”

Daphne, who before she and her late aeronautical-engineer husband moved to Perth 20 years ago, was mortgage manager for a bank in Ottawa, knows doctors are overburdened and often stressed out, and she sympathizes. “I guess doctors worry about taking on older patients because they think they’ll be a big burden.” She adds: “But, I’m very low maintenance. I haven’t had what you’d call a real illness for about nine years.”

She visited her past doctor four times in the past year, but only to get her prescriptions filled, and although she’s on medications for her high blood pressure and Restless Leg Syndrome, and has enough pills to last her a little while longer, and her overall health is good, and she’s physically active in the Kiwanis Club, and as a volunteer at the Salvation Army thrift shop, and goes for a vigorous two-kilometre walk every day, she is 78 and no one that age should be without a doctor.

This story makes me think of the Seinfeld episode where Ellain was getting bad remarks placed in her medical history.

January 12th, 2007


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