Take a whiz with that prosthetic penis

Here is a new twist on an old appendage!  wo men whose company sold a device known as the Whizzinator that helped men cheat on drug tests have pleaded guilty in federal court in Pittsburgh.

George Wills and Robert Catalano each pleaded guilty Monday to two conspiracy counts.

They owned the California-based Internet company Puck Technology.

The Whizzinator is a prosthetic penis that comes with a heating element and fake urine.

U.S. Attorney Mary Beth Buchanan’s office says the goal of it and another device called Number 1 was to help people pass drug tests.  The devices were sold from 2005 to 2008.

The California men are scheduled to be sentenced in February and face up to eight years in prison, a half-million-dollar fine or both.  I would rename this product as the pee-pee machine.

Seven Arrested at High School Grads

Seven High school students arrested, for drugs? Fighting? DUI? – Authorities say seven people attending high school graduations in Rock Hill, South Carolina, are facing charges after police say they cheered while students’ names were being called. Only in the good ole’ US of A!

Authorities say six people at Fort Mill High School’s graduation were charged Saturday and a seventh at the graduation for York Comprehensive High School was charged Friday with disorderly conduct. Police say those arrested yelled after students’ names were called while diplomas were handed out.

A police spokesman says school officials request police patrols to prevent graduation disruptions that include standing, hollering and clapping. He says those attending the commencements are told their behaviour can be prosecuted. This is the stupidest thing I have ever heard of, no wonder this next generation is so messed up.

Mow your Lawn or Go to Jail

In Ohio they take grass-cutting very seriously. So seriously infact that homeowners who don’t mow their lawns face a stiff fine, even jail time in some cases.

The city council has decided to get tougher by increasing the maximum fine for failing to cut the grass from $150 to $250. And they’ve also added up to 30 days behind bars if a violator is particularly bad. Mayor William Healy says it’s the type of action needed “in order to clean up our neighbourhoods and our city.”

In the US it seems you don’t even get enough jail time for serious offences like assualt and robbery so this was a bit suprising.

Ban on Bikinis?

Dominican Republic – A politician in the Dominican Republic wants to ban the bikini – on television at least.  Opposition congressman Nestor Julio Cruz Pichardo says the skimpy swimsuits are contrary to the tropical Caribbean country’s traditions and harm impressionable youngsters.

Yet Dominican resorts commonly lure visitors to the Caribbean’s top vacation destination with advertisements portraying bikini-clad women on white-sand beaches fringed with palms.

Bikinis also have become an increasingly common sight on Dominican television, whether in news shots of tourists sunning on the beach, daytime fashion shows or in soap operas.  The bill would set fines of up to $15,000 for broadcasters who violate the ban.

Cruz said Monday that images of women in revealing swimsuits “are limiting the intellect and deforming the vocational interests” of children in the Dominican Republic. It was not clear if Cruz had significant support from other legislators and besides that many Dominican women look very hot in bikinis!

Money from Heaven

Cash raining down from the heavens  might have seemed like a Christmas gift, but anyone in this western Massachusetts town who grabbed some of it is being asked to please give it back.   The money, totaling  $1,100 belonged to 83-year-old lady, Mary Olive Corbiere, who was banking on it to buy Christmas presents and lost it after a freak accident.

Corbiere had left a drugstore Tuesday and was putting her bags in her car when a wind gust pushed her shopping cart — still containing her purse and cane — into the back of a nearby delivery truck.

The cart somehow became stuck in a rear wheel well before the truck pulled away and disappeared into traffic.  “Everything was normal, then I turned around and the cart had taken off,” said Corbiere, a retired English teacher and nurse.

The cart was dragged for blocks along one of the town’s busiest thoroughfares as the driver, oblivious to what had occurred, headed to the next delivery.  Witnesses told police that when the purse finally burst open, strangers stopped and grabbed the fluttering currency, which Corbiere had withdrawn for holiday shopping and bills.

Officers found Corbiere’s tattered checkbook and cane — but little cash. They are urging people not to be Grinches and return any of the money they might have found.  “We’re hoping people will do the right thing,” police Sgt. Charles Dodge said.

Corbiere, though, isn’t waiting around for the money’s return. She headed to the bank Wednesday to get a new checkbook and make another withdrawal.  She didn’t even bother to retrieve the battered purse from police.

“That’s no use to me now,” she said. “What I really needed badly is my cane, and I am lucky I did get that back.”  Well eventhough the season is upon us I don’t think much of this money will be returned.

Odd Crime News

Weird crime shorts:

-A former bank executive who was said to have “Robin Hood” mentality has been sentenced to 41 months in federal prison for taking money from some accounts and repaying others, as well as pocketing some of the money for himself.

The judge at Friday’s sentencing hearing also ordered Thomas Mariotti, 37, to repay more than $691,000 to his former employer and to Tall Oaks Country Club, one of the affected accounts. Mariotti will remain free on bond until he surrenders himself to prison officials next month. A psychologist who testified at the sentencing hearing said Mariotti had a “Robin Hood” mentality because he took money from the bank to help support bad loans he had made. In one case, he paid off a $45,000 loan, said his lawyer, Ron Hamm. In June, Mariotti waived indictment and pleaded guilty to one count of bank fraud.

-A man was in jail Saturday after refusing to sign a $15 jaywalking ticket two days earlier. Leroy Franklin Cladd Jr. was cited for not using a crosswalk late Thursday night. He balked at signing the ticket, a misdemeanor that landed him in jail. He was not under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time, police said. Cladd was being held at the Manatee County jail on $250 bond. What a fine waste of tax payers money and cops time!

Prison Break

A 19-year-old German woman escaped from prison by hiding in a suitcase in Northwest Germany on Friday, according to the London Metro.  A fellow inmate, 17, was being released from a youth prison and carried her friend out of the jail as her luggage.

Both inmates were serving time for theft and the 19-year-old was due to be released in two weeks. They are both still on the loose.  I wonder if we will see this one on Prison Break?

Footsie Fetish gets Guy in Trouble

Here is a fellow with a strange and freaky fetish,  he pleaded guilty Thursday to stealing more than 1,500 pairs of girls’ shoes from area schools in a deal that calls for prosecutors to recommend probation.   Erik D. Heinrich, 26, of Kenosha pleaded guilty to three counts of burglary and was scheduled for sentencing Oct. 23. He told police he did it for sexual gratification.

He was arrested May 24 after a security video showed him entering North High School on May 20 and leaving with some items. Police tracked him through his vehicle registration, searched his home and a rented storage unit and found the shoes.   Police have said Heinrich worked for a cable company and collected keys to the schools as he responded to calls. He used the keys to burglarize three Waukesha public high schools and one middle school six times during the past two years, according to a criminal complaint.

Police discovered the break-in at North High School after several female students reported that the locks on their lockers had been cut and their shoes stolen.   Heinrich has a previous shoe-stealing conviction, in 2005, that was dismissed at prosecutors’ request after he completed a year of probation, counseling and 50 hours of community service.