Finally some good pollution news for males

“Pollutants change ‘he’ frogs into ‘she’ frogs.”

“Frogs that started life as male tadpoles were changed in an experiment into females by estrogen-like pollutants similar to those found in the environment, according to a new study.”

“I have the pussy, so I make the rules.”

 tshirt_fun

Everyone knows it is much easier for females to get laid!  I can’t wait to finally have sex on a regular basis!

Hard to find a doctor in Perth

Daphne is 78 years old, a widow, a grandmother, doesn’t have a car, doesn’t have a doctor after hers of 20 years suddenly closed his practice three weeks ago for personal reasons, and Daphne decided, why not?

She took out the following personal ad Jan. 5 in the Perth Courier newspaper to attempt to resolve this situation:

78-year-old lady looking for a medical doctor in Perth. Blood pressure and RLS under control. Last major illness in 1958, an appendectomy. Not planning any major illness for the next 10 years. I make muffins to share!! Help! Phone 613-267-4408 and leave a message.

There are 14 doctors listed in Perth, population 6,000. None has answered her ad offering to take her on as a patient. Not even with her offer of muffins.

“I bake muffins,” she says. “Blueberry and apricot. I took some into a doctor’s office because someone told me he had taken on a new patient. I got up at 5:30 a.m. to start making my muffins. I didn’t get to see him. His secretary said he wasn’t taking any more patients. It was the same with two other doctors’ offices I phoned. I knew one of them quite well, and the other by reputation.”

Daphne, who before she and her late aeronautical-engineer husband moved to Perth 20 years ago, was mortgage manager for a bank in Ottawa, knows doctors are overburdened and often stressed out, and she sympathizes. “I guess doctors worry about taking on older patients because they think they’ll be a big burden.” She adds: “But, I’m very low maintenance. I haven’t had what you’d call a real illness for about nine years.”

She visited her past doctor four times in the past year, but only to get her prescriptions filled, and although she’s on medications for her high blood pressure and Restless Leg Syndrome, and has enough pills to last her a little while longer, and her overall health is good, and she’s physically active in the Kiwanis Club, and as a volunteer at the Salvation Army thrift shop, and goes for a vigorous two-kilometre walk every day, she is 78 and no one that age should be without a doctor.

This story makes me think of the Seinfeld episode where Ellain was getting bad remarks placed in her medical history.

Snakes….I mean scorpions on planes…

A Vermont man on a flight home from Chicago was stung twice on the leg by a scorpion – the second such incident to take place in a week.

David Sullivan, 46, was aboard the United Airlines flight on the second leg of his Jan. 3 trip home from San Francisco, where he and his wife Helena had been visiting their sons. He awoke from a nap shortly before landing and noticed something strange.

“My right leg felt like it was asleep, but that was isolated to one spot, and it felt like it was being jabbed with a sharp piece of plastic or something.”

The second sting came after the plane landed and the Sullivans were waiting for their bags at the luggage carousel. Sullivan rolled up his cuff to investigate, and the scorpion fell out.

“It felt like a shock, a tingly thing. Someone screamed, ‘It’s a scorpion,’ ” Sullivan recalled. Another passenger stepped on the five-centimetre-long arachnid, and someone suggested Sullivan seek medical help.

He scooped up the scorpion and headed to the hospital in Burlington. His wife stopped at the United counter and was told the plane they were on had flown from Houston to Chicago. The Sullivans surmised the scorpion boarded in Texas. 

United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski said the incident “is something that we will investigate and look into. We’re very sorry for what happened. Our customer safety and security is our No. 1 priority.”

It was the second scorpion-related airline incident to take place this week. On Sunday a scorpion stung a man on board a Toronto-bound flight, causing an hour-long delay at Pearson airport.

The arachnid apparently got through security in Costa Rica in the man’s carry-on knapsack, said airline officials.

The man, who is expected to make a full recovery, was preparing to return to Canada from a Costa Rican camping trip with his brother when the scorpion crawled into his bag undetected.

Scorpion stings are rarely fatal, except to babies or older people with health problems, said Dr. Stephen Leffler, director of emergency services at Burlington’s Fletcher Allen Health Care hospital.

For a healthy adult, a scorpion sting can mean numbness or shooting pain extending out from the site of the strike, or flu-like symptoms, which Sullivan said he had the next day.

Is this a new type of terrorism?