Cops Don’t Like When you Touch their Donuts

October 11th, 2007

It’s a hefty price for a pastry: A man accused of stealing a 52-cent doughnut could face up to 30 years in jail.  Authorities said Scott Masters, 41, slipped the doughnut into his sweat shirt without paying, then allegedly pushed away a clerk who tried to stop him as he fled the store.

The push is being treated as minor assault, which transforms a misdemeanour shoplifting charge to a strong-armed robbery with a potential prison term of five to 15 years. But because Masters has a criminal history, prosecutors say they could seek 30 years.

“Strong-arm robbery? Over a doughnut? That’s impossible,” Masters told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch from jail.  He admitted that he took the pastry but denying touching the employee. “There’s no way I would’ve pushed a woman over a doughnut.”

Farmington Police Chief Rick Baker said state law treats the shoplifting and assault as forcibly stealing property. The amount of force and value of the property doesn’t matter.  “It’s not the doughnut,” Baker said. “It’s the assault.”

Masters said he didn’t even get to enjoy his ill-gotten gains: He threw the doughnut away as he fled.   I have a sneaking suspicion this donut belonged to a hungry cop.  Anyways if this guy tucked a donut into his sweatshirt and intended to eat it then he is probably not sane enough to stand trial.

Entry Filed under: Crazy Folks, Weird Crime, Weird News