- Police in Georgia say a 23-year-old man grabbed a baseball bat inside of a Walmart store on Wednesday and smashed 29 flat-screen televisions. I am guessing anger management courses will be part of his sentence.

- A strip club in Ohio has raised $1,000 for Haitian earthquake relief during what was billed as “Lap dances for Haiti.  Ummm, is that legal?

- Police say a man who stuffed 75 bottles of body lotion in his pants couldn’t slip away from authorities, hampered by slacks that were nearly bursting at the seams. Dry skin I guess?

BIOLOGY PRIZE: Fumiaki Taguchi, Song Guofu, and Zhang Guanglei of
Kitasato University Graduate School of Medical Sciences in Sagamihara,
Japan, for demonstrating that kitchen refuse can be reduced more than
90% in mass by using bacteria extracted from the feces of giant pandas.

PEACE PRIZE: Stephan Bolliger, Steffen Ross, Lars Oesterhelweg, Michael
Thali and Beat Kneubuehl of the University of Bern, Switzerland, for
determining — by experiment — whether it is better to be
smashed over the head with a full bottle of beer or with an empty bottle.

ECONOMICS PRIZE: The directors, executives, and auditors of four Icelandic
banks — Kaupthing Bank, Landsbanki, Glitnir Bank, and Central
Bank of Iceland — for demonstrating that tiny banks can be rapidly
transformed into huge banks, and vice versa — and for demonstrating
that similar things can be done to an entire national economy.